Happenings On An All Hallows Eve
by wee-me
Summary: Trio of unrelated stories about what could happen some Halloween. Request fic for a wonderful reviewer. Ratings vary.
1. Part One: A Night In

**Happenings On An All Hallows Eve**

Authoress: Wee-Me

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own any of these characters- not the ones from "Beetlejuice" or those from the assorted movies mentioned (even though I asked for them for Christmas). I am making no money from this and it's costing me sleep so don't sue me, 'kay?

NOTE: For Kawaii Usagi Chan San, because her reviews are awesome and she's always so nice and helpful. Thanks for all your kind words and input sweets, it means a lot. Hope you like it. I broke the request into three parts to get more detail and (hopefully) do it justice. These are not related to any other work of mine or each other. Only link between the three parts is the date. Just three events that could happen some Halloween.

Part One: A Night In

The tiny hairs on the back of her neck swayed like long grass in a breeze. A chill set down her spine, what was the cause? Of course it turned out to just be Betel brushing his fingertip back and forth across the nape or her neck – yet another ploy for attention. How many ways did she have to tell him she didn't want to go out Halloween partying?

All she wanted was to curl up on the couch in her PJs, watch some Halloween favorites, and eat candy until she felt sick. Why was that so hard to understand? She was deep in what he liked to call a "girlie snit" (which didn't help her mood) because her week had been utter crap. An ex-boyfriend had been using her identity to take out credit cards she'd found out, a girl from high school panned her latest book in a fairly prominent newspaper out of spite, and Delia's contact for an art show fell through just as she'd gotten enthused about it.

Betel knew she needed a little TLC, but Halloween made him want to run wild and stir up some trouble, even more so than usual. It was still early out by his standards, but he was rapidly losing hope of prying her out of her cozy nest on the couch without her doing something immensely evil to him in return.

"I'm going now...out into the night...full of women…and I'm weak willed," he sing-songed.

"Have fun," she muttered around a mouthful of popcorn, not even looking at him.

"Scantily clad women who are very much interested in your 'geist. Who would steal him away if given half a chance."

"What is the rule about talking while vampires are on the screen? Louis just showed up and I have to see all of him. His performance I mean. Yeah. Bye."

She paused the movie long enough to give him a too short, too chaste kiss and then she was absorbed back into whatever Brad Pitt was doing. He left with a frustrated sigh to one of his traditional starting points. And he was back less than an hour later after his favorite bar did nothing for him. Some drunk chick had even hit on him, asked him if he wanted some "fun", and he had **turned her down** because of his **girlfriend** no less. He couldn't believe he'd said it; the words had come out of his mouth like it was a natural thing. He was slamming a shot and considering that he might be possessed when the bimbo slurred at him.

"_Girlfriend_ huh? If she's so great why ain't she here? How you know she ain't havin' her own _fun_ elsewhere?"

He was gone before the spray from his boozy spit-take hit her face. To his relief Lydia was still on the couch, looking adorable with a mouthful of chocolate.

"Need something B?" she called over her shoulder.

"No, no, just checking up on you. In. I mean in, checking in on you. But you're here and alone." He could see her frown a bit and hurried on. "You're here all alone and it's sad is all. Doesn't seem right for me to be having all the fun. There's still time for you to come with."

"Nope, Gerard and I will be just fine. That man does great things for Dracula."

The pretty boy on the screen was getting too much of her attention so he went out before he broke the TV. Again. This time he went a-haunting in hopes of scaring some breathers silly. He was doing okay, even enjoying it, until he startled a group of Goth girls in a cemetery and one of them reminded him of a tiny Lydia. It was after midnight, but still criminally early when he gave up and went home. He tried not to think too hard about it being home and focused on sulking.

He flopped onto the couch with great theatrics and stole her popcorn. His sigh made it clear that he was very unhappy, as if she hadn't noticed his flouncing and crossed arms. She smiled indulgently and slid closer to walk her fingers over his arms and pull them free. He sniffed and turned his head, but didn't stop her. She pulled his arm up to lay across her shoulders in order to cuddle closer. She ran her hand up his chest to cup his cheek and turn his head to face her. She pressed soft kisses to the corners of his mouth and got the desired smile plus a real kiss for her troubles. She smiled back and brushed her thumb against his lower lip.

"Next year B we'll go out together and have your kind of fun. But for now how about one last movie before calling it a night? I got this one with you in mind."

She untangled herself from him long enough to pop a DVD in and grab a bag of gummy worms. He pulled her into his lap and as she pressed play on the remote. He laughed as the title came up.

"Aww Babes, my favorite comedy."

"Happy Halloween B."

He propped his chin on top of her head and was instantly caught up in the hilarity. Lydia was asleep before the pea soup, but that was fine 'cause a warm girl in his arms and a good laugh was the best time he'd had all night.

End Part One

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Set on Halloween of course. Shortest of the three. This was the romance part of the prompt and you may note that romance isn't my strong suit. Two vampire movies and Betel's favorite comedy in this part, can you name them? Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you think.


	2. Part Two: In The Shadows

**Happenings On An All Hallows Eve**

Authoress: Wee-Me

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own any of these characters, I think Burton does & maybe some other people who aren't me. I'm making no money, it's costing me sleep, & it's not nice to sue the sleep deprived.

NOTE: For Kawaii Usagi Chan San, because her reviews are awesome and she's always so nice and

helpful. Thanks for all your kind words and input sweets, it means a lot. Hope you like it. I broke the request into three parts to get more detail and (hopefully) do it justice. These are not related to any other work of mine or each other. Only link between the three parts is the date. Just three events that could happen some Halloween.

**WARNING**: Since I don't know all two of you readers out there (that estimate might be high) I'm going to warn you that there's some gore in this chapter. If you are easily squicked, please move on 'cause this might not be the chapter for you.

Part Two: In The Shadows

Hiding down lower in the crypt she named off the bad ideas of the night and tried not to breathe too loudly, or scream. Bad idea one was leaving her nice warm house at all. Bad idea two was leaving that nice warm house to go haunting and exploring a cemetery. Bad ideas three through six involved the date (October 31), the time (too near the Witching Hour), the moon (full), and the guide (scruffy, crazy, unstable poltergeist- Betelgeuse). The worst idea of the night was that she was Lydia L. Deetz and she had thought, back before leaving her cozy home hours ago, that this outing sound fun and that nothing bad would happen.

Betel had been hounding her all day to come out with him and have some fun. "A night you'll never forget," he'd said. The problem was that anything fun he wanted to do usually got them into trouble and they attracted enough without looking for it. But a product of their relationship limbo (were they dating? friends? some third thing?) was the need to be extra supportive of each other's interests in case it eventually turned out they were indeed a couple. Thus she had agreed to go out in the dark windy night to have some "fun". And it had been fun, at least at first.

He'd showed her a few places he'd haunted before and she'd helped scare the new occupants. The hilarity of the sorority house séance was marred only by the fact that one girl had lost control of her bodily functions in a seriously gross way when Betel flew through the room. She'd felt a twinge of conscience at the girl's abject terror, but then the girl had laughed some and they'd moved on. The real problem for the girl would be from her drunken friends spreading it around and if she was lucky they would pass out soon and forget it all.

Betel had suggested ending their evening out with a stroll through a "bone yard" he knew well (had a few friends buried there) under the shining moon. They both ignored the fact that the whole set up was at least pseudo-romantic. In fact, they were so focused on not reading too much into things that they missed it when the first shadow moved out of the darkness across their path.

They did notice the group of nervous teens wandering through on another path playing ghost hunters. Heading deeper in on the winding path, toward the crypts, they joked about the silly kids and what they would do with a real ghost. Betel was trying to sense out his friends to introduce to Lydia but was coming up with next to nothing.

"B, where are these guys? I thought you said they would be scaring tonight."

"Dunno babes, they should be here but all I feel are flickers…" he trailed off as a pair of shadows darted around a tree and headed straight for them. "Oh shit! C'mon babe, time to go!" And before she knew what was going on they were running.

"B! What's going on?"

"Shadow people, shades. Faster!"

Her blood ran cold even as fear gave her an extra burst of speed. Shadow people were not creatures to be trifled with, they possess humans and siphon energy from ghosts. _Which explains the lack of easy zapping transport_, she thought. Betelgeuse certainly would have been able to get himself out, but getting a breather safely around took a lot of energy and a lot of concentration, neither of which he had a large supply of at the time.

"Must be thirty or more of 'em. This is bad, beyond bad. Where's the friggin' gate?" he half shouted.

"There!" She pointed and he dragged her on, clutching her hand in a desperate painful grip. That's when he stepped in the body, in a ribcage to be exact. His foot squelched unpleasantly on what was probably a lung and he moved quickly to block Lydia from viewing it further. The noise it made and the glimpses she got would never leave her, not ever. It was one of the silly ghost hunting teens shredded at their feet, and the others were moving between them and the gate. Blood and gore covered them all, shining in a ghastly way in the silvery light, but their eyes were flat and dull. Whatever was running the bodies in front of them was not human.

Lydia heard someone's high voice speaking. "They ripped him apart. Their hands, the blood, ripped him up with their hands. What are we gonna do?" It took her a moment to realize it was her voice.

"Run! C'mon Lydia." Betelgeuse spun them both around and pushed her along in front. "Find one with a cross. Upright cross and a door. Get inside and get down. And don't let them touch you, whatever you do."

The only thing keeping her from panicking was Betel's hands at her waist and his reassuring presence at her back. _Cross, cross, cross,_ she chanted in her mind, _oh there's one!_

"There! Over there on the left."

"Go babe, go!"

He made some sort of gesture she half saw in her periphery and a blaze of green shot off down a different path with most of the shadow people behind it. She hit the door at a run, leading with her shoulder, hoping that it would break and that the landing on the other side would be soft. The door glowed green just as she hit it and swung open easily under her weight. It was a big room with stone benches for the grieving and tables with flower urns that she sort of saw as she fell in. All the light in the room was from the moon and Betelgeuse. She slid across the floor and landed hard against the wall, narrowly missing a bench-face collision.

_For visitors, the kind that are s'posed to be here,_ she thought woozily. _Why would anybody want to sit in here with a bunch of dead people that can't even talk to them? Must've been rich to have all this stuff_.

Betel slammed the door behind him and started jamming the stone furniture in front of it and stacking anything with weight on top of his barricade. Lydia was sore, covered in spider webs and dust, and a short step away from panic, but it looked like Betelgeuse had beat her to it.

"B, what's going on? What do we do?"

He whirled around when he was done stacking and plowed both hands through his hair. He bent at the waist to nearly put his head on the floor only to pop upright swearing seconds later.

"Babes. Lydia. Oh hell. I'm sorry. Maybe this is a sign that we shouldn't travel together."

She smiled, just a little, at his attempt at humor, but it faltered when she heard the footsteps outside.

"They can't find us for now, but hiding isn't a permanent solution. We gotta get help." He sighed deeply and paced away from her corner to the opposite. Five steps away, five back, twenty trips back and forth before she lost count. When he stopped he looked utterly defeated.

"Babe, I'm gonna have to go for help. I can't get you out safely without some help. Never seen Shadows like this, i'n't natural. I need to know if you'll be okay here without me."

The idea made her shiver harder than even the cold had managed, but she couldn't do anything but nod.

"Go ahead. I'll be here when you get back. Not much choice, you're kind of my ride."

Her smile was weak as straw, but his return grin was proud.

"'Course you will be. An' I'll be back quick as I can, can't wait to get my goodnight kiss. Now let me just get you settled in here and then I'll go."

He moved her off to one side behind the meager protection of an overturned table that hadn't made it to the pile. She sat down and let him draw a circle around her with a "special blend" of salt and purified blessed ashes. He talked, but mostly to fill the quiet.

"Gotta have protective stuff," he explained. "Ya never know when someone's gonna send a demon or something after ya and you'll need a quick barrier. Do you know how hard it is to get ash from a rowan tree blessed by a priest, a sorceress, and one of the fae? Wouldn't use this on just anybody."

"Oh Beej, I bet you say that to all the girls."

They exchanged weak grins before Betel stood and dropped his coat over her shoulders.

"Stay warm and stay safe. I'll be back quick as I can." He didn't voice any of his concerns and she followed his lead. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips just before he left and then she was all alone.

That had been ages ago, what felt like years hunched up in an old jacket in a dark tomb. There was little light left, a little green glow from the ring of salt and the hands of her watch that moved so slowly, but only enough to create an alarming gloomy atmosphere. The shadow people had found her, she could tell by the sounds at the door- meaty thumps against the door and the harsh whisper of the shadows. The bodies of those kids grunted as they slammed into the door over and over. She had run out of distractions (humming her favorite songs, reciting poetry in her head, counting her teeth) and the night had finally caught up with her. Even riffling through Betel's pockets had proved a bust as they turned up empty, the real pockets must have stayed with the man. She wasn't all that surprised when as fist size hunk of door fell in and brought the moonlight in with it. She didn't even flinch out of the protective circle.

_I liked the dark better than those bloody fingers, but if I die the moonlight will be a comfort. I just hope all my family and friends know I love them. And Betel, I hope he knows that I know he did his best and I don't blame him for this. Love you Betel, wherever you are. _

The hole in the door grew larger by the second and every zombie movie she had ever seen came to mind, though the reality was far worse. There were flecks of blood on the eyes of the bodies, the shadows didn't need the eyes to see, and she feared a closer look would reveal gore on the teeth as well (the lips certainly had enough blood to make it likely). She was almost grateful when the shadow people swarmed in to block the bodies from sight. They dove and swarmed around the salt circle creating a hurricane effect with her at its eye. She could feel herself quaking and the circle starting to weaken as the cavalry arrived. Suddenly the air was full of voices shouting desist orders and quoting law books of the dead. She was stunned: _He went to Juno and the proper channels? _Then a hand was shoving its way through the shades and the rest of Betel came bursting in like a cork freed from a champagne bottle.

"Miss me Babes?" he asked with a cheeky grin that looked a little forced.

She couldn't even answer, the night had been too hard, so she let a hug say what she couldn't. He smiled down on her with a soft, worried expression before swinging her up into his arms bridal style and squeezing her tight.

"Too much excitement for a breather then? That's all right, you held out better than any of the others would. Maybe next time out we'll try something easier, like walking in a volcano or shark petting. You know I once…" His blustering voice soothed her nerves though she kept her ear at his chest to hear him talk and not because of any interest in his crazy stories. He seemed reluctant to move from his spot, rocking her like a baby and talking, but he had his orders from Juno. "Okay Babe, we're gonna have to pass through the shield now and those shadows are gonna be flyin' everywhere. They won't be able to possess you with me an' Juno here, but it doesn't feel too pleasant either. Just relax an' I'll have you home quick as I can."

_I wonder if those kids are Juno's newest headache_. _Oh, headache, I have one now. Stupid barrier_.

For a second there was only the comfort of Betel's arms, a mild headache, and the knowledge that she was safe. Then all that was gone, replaced by pain and darkness like she had never felt before. A feeling like icy knives cut along her bones, making them feel broken, ripping all the air from her lungs. She could hear the screaming of those poor kids inside the blackness and knew deep down that she would never recover before her mind shut down all higher thought. Her hope floated out as the shadow flew in.

She saw images of carnage and bloodshed. Felt the wounds. Saw possessions. Felt the loss of power. Saw how the would-be ghost hunters had been forced out of their bodies and those bodies made to tear apart the one member of the group that hadn't succumbed. Felt the blood and gore under her hands and in her teeth. Saw what the shadows would have done to her. Felt the pain and disgust. Saw the horrible and awe-inspiring things they would have done with Betelgeuse's powers at their disposal. Felt the rip in existence and its fallout. She saw enough to fill hours in the few seconds it took the shade to pass through and over.

She came from beneath it with wild eyes and skin an impossibly pale shade. She ran shaky hands over herself checking for physical injuries as Betel and Juno looked on. The shadows across the room chose that moment to give up the bodies and leaving them to hit the ground like slabs of meat. Juno winced and frowned at her co-workers.

"Betel, take the kid home. Please. She needs rest and the comforts of home." She brushed a hand down Lydia's cheek before grasping her hand. "You go home and let Barbara coddle you a while. I'll be there in a bit to check in on you. You'll be fine Kiddo."

"Home, wanna go home, yes." She grabbed Juno's hand as Betel turned to go. "Wait. Juno?"

"Yeah?"

"Try not to make those kids cry okay? They've had a rough night and you're a little scary when you want to be." Her smile was weak as a newborn kitten, but it cheered her specters no end- it meant she might be a little cracked but she wasn't broken.

"I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises. You're the only breather I really have any patience for."

With the shadows being wrangled by the authorities Betelgeuse nodded his thanks and took Lydia home. Just as Juno had said Barbara mothered with the best of them and then Juno took a stab at it in her own way by telling her a "story" (an explanation for the night's events).

"Shadow people aren't easy to get along with on a good day, but they got wound up because a corner of their graveyard was desecrated- some stupid breather cult thing. The living can be a nightmare. Present company excluded. You're a pretty good kid when you aren't running with him." She jerked her shoulder to indicate Betel. She answered questions and even offered to stay the night, but Lydia declined politely and promised to call if she needed help. Juno let a quick, tight hug (in front of witnesses no less) say her "I love you".

Eventually Lydia recovered from the experience, but it was many nightmare filled weeks and fearful months. She even got used to the memories of the gore, the fear, the pain, and the dead eyes staring at her. But Betelgeuse had been right about one thing, she never forgot that night no matter how hard she tried.

End Part Two

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Set on Halloween, but you already knew that. This was the horror part of the prompt. My feeling on ghost hunting or any other occult dabbling- when you go looking things may look back at you so you do so at your own risk. Also, shadow people scare me. A lot. All the research I've done (for my own interests, not for this story) indicates they aren't necessarily nice and friendly.

Thanks to Shelly, WithoutHesitation, and Mana-Kipagami for reading and reviewing. I love reviews. hugs to all of you


	3. Part Three: Queen for an Evening

**Happenings On An All Hallows Eve**

Authoress: Wee-Me

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Betelgeuse or any of his friends, Burton is the lucky creator there. I also don't own the vaguely referenced ghost at the end. I am making no money from this and it ruins my sleep so please no suing.

NOTE: For Kawaii Usagi Chan San, because her reviews are awesome and she's always so nice and helpful. Thanks for all your kind words and input sweets, it means a lot. Hope you like it. I broke the request into three parts to get more detail and (hopefully) do it justice. These are not related to any other work of mine or each other. Only link between the three parts is the date. Just three events that could happen some Halloween.

Part Three: Queen for an Evening

One thing about being surrounded by the dead was that keeping a secret was a pain in the butt. It was hard to make plans and hide things from people who could be invisible at will, but she'd managed. All she had to do was get across the state line without any of the ghosties noticing.

_Easy_, Lydia thought. _If by easy a person meant nigh on impossible._ She gripped the steering wheel a little tighter in response.

Over the years the various ghosts in her life had become overprotective and very nearly obsessed with knowing where she was going to be and in what company. Any time she left their sight it seemed they fully expected her to join them in ghostly status. Leaving the house on Halloween ("When the Walls are thin and bad things can happen" Juno had told her a thousand times) to spend the night with a friend none of them knew much about had her humming the "Mission: Impossible" theme under her breath. If the party wasn't so important to her friend, and he so important to her, she wouldn't even have bothered.

She'd met Edmund Lane in a stiflingly boring college intro art class where they'd both spent the whole time doodling on the edge of their notes and bonded during study sessions to cram all the lists of paintings for the midterm. They were both art major, with slightly different focuses, so they shared many of the same classes and built a strong friendship. They were Munny and Lady and were practically joined at the hip for the majority of their college career. It was in one of their many shared classes that Lydia because Munny's little money making muse.

It was a hot day in their illustration class and Lydia was scribbling away in her sketchbook. She was shading a portrait of Juno for her office (not that Munny knew that was who it was) when the spiders crawled on to their table. Weird stuff always happened around Lydia (cold spots, messed up pictures, etc) and he took it all in stride, but dozens upon dozens of tiny red spiders invading was new to him. He was fully prepared to either squish them all under a heavy text or run away, but he was certain that Lydia as a person of female persuasion would have to be sedated to get over her fright no matter what he ended up doing. In his mind girls plus spiders always ended with the girls having major freak outs. But by the time he got himself in gear she was on top of the situation, shooing at them and blowing soft puffs of air to get them to move away. Of course he couldn't see the little ghost boy herding them that she was actually shooing at, but he was still very impressed.

"You are a goddess. A superhero. A queen. The spider whisperer." On and on he teased as she blushed and went back to shading her portrait.

At the end of the week he presented her with a print he'd created "in her highness the spider queen's honor" at the beginning of class. It was her, sort of, in comic book style and full spider themed costume. Her top, over a much too ample bosom, was a plain red bandana shirt embroidered with a web design with the point at her belt. He'd paired it with a leather jacket, leather pants, painful looking stiletto boots and too much exposed skin. The barest hint of fang showed in the spider Lydia's grin and she oozed sexy confidence. Looking at it made Lydia blush like crazy and wonder at the male mind. Their professor saw it and loved it enough to share the idea of it with a few of his friends in a position to get it printed. Within a few months The Spider Queen covered most of the pages in Munny's portfolio and had become an underground cult comic (it was amazing what could happen when you give an art student access to cheap printing). Lydia helped with the story and modeled for some of the more chaste scenes. Within a year there was a website with teasers and a way to order full copies (of a better quality) and they were calling it a "graphic novella". Now, several years later, he was a huge hit at comic conventions and had small fan gatherings such as the one Lydia was heading to.

She was making an appearance, _very_ rare, as her doppelganger in full costume right down to the boots that threatened to permanently cripple her. Though she'd only half-jokingly asked Munny if she could alter it "slightly" by wearing a red spider web poncho instead of the teensy top she had the real get up in her suitcase. She was giving herself a pep talk as she went down the road, "It'll be fun to hang out with Munny. Don't think about the horrendous amount of cleavage. Hotel, change, party, and fun- that's all you need to think about. At least B isn't here to hear me talking to myself."

Luckily Betelgeuse had headed out for an extended haunt-a-thon the day before and wasn't expected back home for a few days. She'd had to keep all of her Spider Queen things, including the original framed print, in her heavily warded home office to hide it from Betel's prying eyes and smart mouth. Her office was the only place he couldn't get to in the entire house so it was a constant source of annoyance to him and her only sanctuary (also the only safe place for her undies and other private things). He'd threatened to riot when she'd considered giving the same treatment to her bedroom.

"And there you go again. C'mon Lydia, you can go one night without thinking about ghosts."

The check in at the hotel went well and Munny had a car pick her up to take her to the Carnahan House, party central for the evening. "A supposedly haunted house on Halloween," Munny had told her, "is prime nerd fun and the most awesome comic party locale ever. It may be better than a Star Trek convention. I may geek out forever if this goes well." His nerdy enthusiasm had made her agree against her better judgment. She got a celebrity welcome at the hotel, and despite being leered at on her way out, she felt like a rock star. Her prediction about a ghost free evening was shot as soon as she walked in the door, but the Carnahans were nice people and gave her as warm a reception as the living guests.

"Oh, you must be Lydia!" Mrs. Carnahan gushed. "Juno said you'd be dressed up, but I wasn't quite expecting this. Thought she did mention you'd probably blush like that if we let slip how much she told us about you. She's taken a real shine to you; I've never heard her like that before." At Lydia's surprised expression Mr. Carnahan said, "You didn't really think you'd gotten anything by Juno, did you?" There was a mischievous twinkle to his eyes, but no real malice in his gentle amusement at her expense. They promised her a tour when she had a moment to slip away before they went to bedevil some of the guests in a harmless way. For the next few hours she stayed at Munny's side to pose for pictures or dance under the flickering candles in the chandelier.

"Lady," Munny said as the midnight hour approached, "you're a gem for doing this. We should hang out more often, like we used to. Oh crap, there she is again. Hide me!"

The she in question was Lillian and the only blot on an otherwise perfect evening. She had followed "The Spider Queen" from the first issue and she wanted Lydia's place as Queen, muse, and favorite girl in Edmund's life. No matter how many times or ways it was made clear to her that it would never happen she kept believing that one day it would all be hers. She'd even gone so far as to get a job as a guide at Carnahan House when the party location had been announced months before.

_First rate stalker that one,_ Lydia thought. _Smart enough to avoid doing anything to get called on it, but doing lots to get noticed. Super crazy and maybe dangerous_. Lydia knew a little something about stalkers and she knew that the Lillian situation would not end well, especially if Munny didn't do something about it. Lydia pulled her friend up from his crouch behind her.

"O-o-oh, manly. C'mon, why don't you sic security on her and be done with it?"

"And have her try to claim harassment against my people again? No, I'll just dodge her for now and ad this little experience to my files which will hopefully one day get me the restraining order I've been asking for. It I'm lucky it will happen _before_ she pulls a 'Misery' on me."

Lydia had pulled him into a hug and was getting ready to reassure him when Lillian's voice came through the speakers. She'd taken the stage.

"Oh crap. Munny, I don't think this is going to be an apology for the stalking and creepiness."

He sighed, squeezed her arm, and made his way to speak to a security member at the side of the room.

"Attention! Attention you nerds. Eyes up front losers!"

She banged the microphone against her palm. The security staff (moon lighting cops mostly) were standing at the ready, but holding back as ordered and they didn't look happy about it.

"Thank you. Now as you may know, this house is said to have a pair of ghosts. That's its appeal. I've been here three months and while I've yet to _see_ them I have _heard_ them. And their buddy Junie."

At this Lydia blanched and prepared to charge the stage. In her mind she let loose a stream of creative and extremely foul expletives and tried to think of what to tell Juno. _You see Juno, for once the ghost related problem wasn't my fault. It was this crazy chick who wanted to be a comic book character. Yeah, that'll go over well._

"I heard this Junie woman tell the ghosts to watch out for poor little Lydia, you know- the girl standing in my way to the throne. I didn't hear it all, but I know that she was real worried about this other ghost showing up and getting Lydia.

Lydia mentally corrected the ghost part to poltergeist and then groaned when the full meaning came through. Mr. Carnahan appeared beside her. "Don't worry dear; we're getting it under control. The Missus is calling Juno now."

"Tell her she might need to erase memories. And you and Mrs. C should be prepared to create a distraction or everybody's gonna know."

As Lydia whispered Lillian went on, "And I call upon this evil entity: Beat-Alj-Ooze, Beat-Alj-Ooze, Beat-Alj-Ooze! Come forth and attack my enemy!"

A green vapor began to fill the room, thrilling and frightening the guests who believed this was all a part of the evening's entertainment. Betel's voice, though several times deeper, rang out through the room. "I am," he paused and only those that knew him could hear the wince, "Beat-Alj-Ooze. What would you bid me do?"

"Attack! Attack Lydia Deetz!"

A vague face, as tall as Lydia, formed in the green mist and smiled toothily. She groaned.

"Lydia Deetz, come forward! Come to me willingly and the others will be spared."

"You will pay for this," she muttered between gritted teeth, but she strode through the crowd with her head high- a valiant queen sacrificing herself to save her people. The crowd actually applauded. The smile widened impossibly and emitted a theatrical villain laugh. "As has been bidden the girl is mine."

Lillian's smile and her eyes shined with madness and her jagged laugh was the last thing Lydia heard before the candles and lights went out and the giant mouth swallowed her up. They came out a few rooms over, close enough to hear the chaos in the main room, but far enough away to have a chat. He lit a cigarette and a candle with a snap of his fingers while he hooked a finger in the front of her top with his other hand.

"Nice babes. Why don't you ever dress like this for me?"

She swatted his hand away and stared him down, or tried to at least. He was too gleeful to be put off however and he blew smoke rings through his smile, carefully keeping it away from her face. He slid his hand from her barely covered navel, over her exposed hip, to her bare back under the leather jacket. She let him pull her closer as she shivered slightly and dropped her forehead against his chest.

"You wanna tell me 'bout it Lyds?"

She wrapped her arms around his waist and spoke into the lapel of his jacket.

"Nothing much to tell. Visiting a friend, costume comic party, crazy girl who wants to steal my life and heard enough from Juno to help reveal the existence of ghosts to the world. Oh, and the appetizers weren't very good."

He snorted, but didn't mock her any further. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then turned her around to face Juno as she appeared in the room. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and continued to let his hands roam her exposed skin- she might never be distracted enough to let him again.

"Having fun kiddo?" Juno asked in a wry tone.

"You know me Junebug, I make my own fun,"

"I wasn't talking to you Beetlebrain, and you know it. Lydia, do you think you can get his slimy paws off you long enough for you to give me a hand?"

"Can do." It took a few minutes of struggling, the appearance of a second set of hands, and the threat of the use of the B-word, but Lydia finally got free as Juno told her the plan. When the sirens from the phony police (Juno's people in disguise and set up to fool the real cops in the room) could be heard in the driveway all the players in the house took their places.

The Carnahans let all the lights and candles come back on and walked through the panicked crowd toward the stage "boo"-ing and generally hamming up the ghostliness. Their clothes were changed to tattery, ragged costumes and it looked like their faces were covered in bad face paint. Behind them a smiling, waving Lydia came walking arm in arm with another badly done ghost man. When this man spoke into the microphone they recognized his voice as that of the glowing face.

"Thank you, thank you. I hope you enjoyed our 'haunting' performance. Let's give a big round of applause to Miz Deetz for being such a good sport about our little abduction, we had to move more quickly than expected since **someone **overheard out 'ghostly chatter'." There were chuckles then and Lillian glared from where the security staff held her. "Now it appears that some nervous souls called the police so the officers here would like to have a few words with us all. Thank you." He handed the microphone off to a no-nonsense woman who had just taken the stage. "Hello, my name is Detective Juniper. I apologize in advance for any inconvenience, but we're going to need to speak to each of you in turn. After that you can all go back to your party." She replaced the mic and turned to Lillian. "Except for you miss, Lillian, I believe it is."

After that it was a simple matter of Juno's people taking statements and subtly altering memories to make all the weird things seem like tricks and to completely erase Betelgeuse from their memories. All the reports were turned over to the real police, along with some "evidence" that Lillian had planned to kidnap Lydia and nobody would believe her about the ghosts. Before she went off to continue partying, and get Munny calmed down, Lydia stepped into the next room with her ghosts.

"Thanks Juno. And you B. This was all very men in black and now I can say I've been a part of a bureaucratic cover up and conspiracy. This might be the best Halloween ever."

The pair smiled at her enthusiastic search for the silver lining.

"No prob Babes. Wear that outfit more often and I'll do whatever you want."

"You should hold him to that Kid, if only for my sake. Now get back to your party."

Then they were gone and Lydia went to find her friend in the nearly empty main room.

"So Lady, what do you think about ghosts in the next Spider Queen arc? They could be glowy and magical. Ooh, a helpful British ghost? And we could…" He spoke on as Lydia led him out on the dance floor. She nodded along thinking to herself that it hadn't been a bad night at all.

End Part Three

AUTHOT'S NOTE: Set on Halloween. The drama and costume part of the prompt. So very much longer than I intended, longest of these and the last. A few random influences here. I try to include bits of both cartoon and movie in my stories, hopefully you can spot the very big reference in this one. May be vaguely XKCD influenced- hugs to the person who spots it. Oh and of course a little "Dresden Files" reference. Enjoy and please review.


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